Category Archives: Weird Things I Write

Schemes for Surviving Low Cattle Prices

Schemes for Surviving Low Cattle Prices A couple years ago I purchased my first herd of cattle. The market was booming at the time, and I spent my days counting my calves, twirling my mustache with a greedy grin, and … Continue reading

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The Dickens Guide to Surviving a Cow Attack

As a whole cows are pretty docile animals, but don’t let the fact that they look like brisket-filled beanbag chairs fool you. As any cattleman can attest, a small percentage of cows can be quite dangerous. Did you know that … Continue reading

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My Response to the Most Epically Scathing Comment Ever

So I Googled myself last night because I’m a narcissist and wanted to see if I was famous yet, and in my searching I discovered that a very nice cattle company had shared on their Facebook page my latest magazine … Continue reading

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The Worst Christmas Poem Ever

Hi everyone, I hope you are having a lovely holiday season. I haven’t posted anything in a while, and since I still really don’t have any new stories to share with you, I am going to share something I wrote … Continue reading

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Introvert Games

“Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to hell” –Criss Jami Some people are born naturally outgoing. Psychologist and other types of shrinks call these social butterflies, extroverts. Social interactions come easy … Continue reading

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Troupe Leader Chase

Unfortunately, I’m not a person that’s always capable of living up to the Boy Scout philosophy. –Stanley Crouch   BOY SCOUT’S JOURNAL   Boy Scout’s Log: Day 1 My moment of truth is here. Finally, I get to try out … Continue reading

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Winnie the Boo Bear

“Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest left out by mistake.” –Winnie the Pooh   Well, I’m back. Not that I actually went anywhere, I just haven’t updated the blog in … Continue reading

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The Night Before Christmas: The Legend of St Chase

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. ~Steven Wright Nearly every form of entertainment out there usually has some form of Christmas special. By now we have all seen A … Continue reading

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To My Future Child:

“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.”—Jon Stewart   How many of you clicked on this because you thought I was going to be a father? Ha, hopefully at least a few of you quickly clicked the … Continue reading

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Five Simple Rules

“I don’t have pet peeves; I have whole kennels of irritation.”—Whoopi Goldberg Hello my dear followers, apologies for not posting last week. I have been pretty busy trying to write things I that I might actually get paid for. Sadly … Continue reading

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